Month: September 2019

Read Me Now

You know I knew this was gonna happen.

I warned all of you.

DO YOU GUYS WANT ME TO BE AROUND? OR DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HOMELESS , ON HAITUS , DESPERATE , BASICALLY UNDER MY FATHER’S THUMB ONCE AGAIN.

You know I finally came up with a perfect plan. To rid my father from my life fiscally…

Just tuning in?

Here’s the skinny. I’ve been in the industry allegedly for 20 years. I’m an original one. But I disappear a lot.

The reason? Always the same. My father.

You see I was a sick kid. But it’s not that simple. I wasn’t treated correctly. So I was misdiagnosed. To an art form.

I spent 7 years on dangerous combinations of medications that didn’t even belong in a childs body. The total medications I’ve been on : 127.

My father and I were really close during this time . But I was taken off the meds, diagnosed correctly and hospitalized for a year and treated intensely and then changed my everything. I spent the next 3 years really working toward a better life.

I was happy. Free. I was better.

But my father … Was not convinced. In fact this marked the first incident to sever me from him.

Something happened to my family. Led by my father they were totally convinced that I WAS SICKER THAN I WAS EVER.

??????

I mean wtf? I mean how sad. I was ready to be with my family. And they flipped. I consulted a few professionals.

Turns out I’m one of the lucky few that families go delusional when you get better. They cannot handle you well so better to presently create a whole reality that doesn’t exist: I was sick. In their eyes.

For the last 20 years I have pretty much been in a lot of pain. I mean I have had to accept this. But this came at a cost.

I’m trying to grow and heal and it really doesn’t help to have my father bound to me in areas in my life.

So I cut him out. As I cut those ties I became stronger.

I’m not saying I was an angel I could be deliberately hurtful to them and him.

But I’m talking shit with the most important things I needed to cut him out.

You see my father knew how to MANIPULATe me. I learned and was born of him . I began to fix all those issues.

And frankly watched him … And saw a child.

Cuz I acted like a child.

The moment you realize your father or mother isn’t a super hero is the most devestating day of your life.

I couldn’t pay rent. I just didn’t get this.

Now I want you to put 2 and 2 together.

You’re a misdiagnosed ADHD now an adult.

Your key formative years are gone. You were so out of your mind on difft PSYCHOTRIPIC drugs you are a slave to things you don’t belong to your body.

So learning to balance a check book doesn’t apply to you.

My father’s reaction to my money skills are pretty much the opposite you need to approach a person like me.

I’m reverting to a child like state. I’m confused. I’m scared. I’m truly not understanding not making the connection.

And I’m being taken from my first apt which he paid the rent, then coerced me into the hospital.

I was told nothing was wrong.

I returned to an empty home.

Are YOU STARTING TO GET THE BEGINNING OF MY JOURNEY TO NOW AT 40 I CANNOT BELIEVE HE’S GONNA TAKE MY HOME AWAY??!!!!!!

LET’S JUST SUM THIS UP.

My father is very abusive when he gives me money. I do not want him in life.

But since fosta sesta I haven’t made the money I used to.

And I’m disabled. From those years of over medication.

I have spent the last year off insurance. And I haven’t been going to the doctor. I stopped taking critical meds.

Blame Trump and my father.

But I NEED YOUR HELP.

IN 2020 I WANT TO CLEAN UP MY CREDIT, AND WHEREVER I AM WITH MY BUSINESS PLAN … I HAVE A GENIUS ONE…. QUALIFY AT LEAST FOR A LOAN OR HAVE AN INVESTOR.

AND GET HIM THE HELL OFF MY LEASE.

BUT HE REJECTED THIS PLAN. EVEN THO I WILL PAY RENT.

TODAY I PROMISED HIM 800.

BOTH CLIENTS DIDN’T SHOW

GUESS WHAT

I NOW LOOK LIKE A FAILURE AND I CANNOT DO THIS TO HIM.

IF I DON’T COME UP WITH 1950 IN 10 DAYS

I CAN … AND YOU CAN KISS ME GOODBYE.

DOES ANYONE CARE?

HOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT BECAUSE HE’S BEEN PAYING I QUALIFY FOR SHIT.

I’M REACHING OUT. I’M DROWNING.

I’M SO SCARED. BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN MOVE IF I WANTED TO!

I’M NOT ABOUT TO IN MY HEALTH CONDITION.

TO MAKE IT CLEAR I’M JUST WEAK. IM ABLE TO SEE YOU.

I DON’T WANT HIM TO BE MY GAURUNTOR.

I HAVE A PLAN TO GET STEADY STREAM OF RELIABLE INCOME

BUT MY FATHER WILL NOT AGREE.

HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT ME.

20 YEARS I’VE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS.

I WANT A CHANCE AT LIFE.

I’M 40. I HAVE ONE THING THAT KEEPS ME ALIVE…. MY HOME.

HELP ME

917 808 7185

monroemackie@gmail.com