Month: September 2018

People are People

It’s funny I think you guys must look at the way I describe my girls and think”what’s with this sentimental crap?” Lol.

Actually in the long run most of you appreciate the thoughts and the process.

In the beginning I want you to understand where my thinking is and why I’ve decided to represent a person in the adult industry. I don’t just willy nilly pick up people cuz they’re pretty.

I feel a connection that is very strong. I have a huge line of girls dying to be mentored by me.

But there are factors that go into this at different times. Circumstances that change and tip the scales.

Mind you I mentor and advise many women all over the country. The fact that more and more women want to adopt my methodology and try my business model is a very wonderful thing.

Look. With my current two girls you’re gonna bitch and moan to me about pics I’m sure of it.

There’s a very very good reason this is so slow in the making.

I’m not making it a secret that my first chosen is not welcome to work under that given name of Marydeth.

I suffered a great personal betrayal that is very private. It has nothing to do with the industry. It has everything to do with certain promised agreements that were made legally and via my health. This ran deep. I cannot describe the pain she caused by lying, leaving, and never even to my face telling me she was no longer going to be this most significant person in my life.

I’m devestated. Still. I cannot condone nor can I confirm where she is. I believe wherever it is isn’t a good place. And I pray she’s ok.

I’m currently in a place in life that is no surprise…a fucking unnecessary challenge. I have no doubt that I’ll come out glowing.

But I’m so tired. So tired in fact I’ve made it no secret I’ve been on disability for a very long time. Since I was about 21.

I’m 39. And was just approved for long term care giving. At fucking 39.

Hint. Now you might put the pieces together on what she commited to.

So I also attract a lot of people in my life. I’ve got you right lol. I have all sorts. I’m a loner who is a social butterfly. 10% of people I encounter are strongly dramatic, disturbed and or capable of such horrific things out of this jealousy.

I see all the signs. At some point they’ll tell me after a very nice period of admiration they express something goes awry in their lives.

They’ll tell me things like… You have this confidence I admire but I hate … I want to destroy it. Knowing you exist knowing I don’t have it makes me want to hate you but I can’t.

These types of things scare me. It is telling me I pose such a threat they’re capable of destroying me.

For 3 years I had a person consistently do this. I cannot talk about this person.

Recently a person I did very much care for I had to watch go into a downward spiral. Of relapse and addiction.

This person stole things from me. When I have this person 24 hours to return the items lest I call the police, she called my mgnt company.

She caused the termination of my lease.

Funny because I’m not very happy here. But … I’m not very well. And really cannot deal with a situation of this magnitude.

When Marydeth entered the picture it wss as if an angel came. I had sort of saved her(I extract girls from traffickers is all I will say) and she saved mine.

2 weeks ago she most definitely overreacted to a small error I was very quick to remedy .

And I never saw her again.

I’m not sure why people do what they do in speaking of all I’ve said. Why my mgmt believed this ex friend over me, why it feels like I can’t make mistakes when welcome anyone to make them as it’s ok to make them!

Idk why I tell my father I need a break from him. Only for he to write me to tell me you leave him alone fora few days. Last word much??

Get over it!

I have no idea why my fucking doctor will not just call back to get the paperwork done so we can move ahead with paying the new care giver thus giving us an idea of what we can spend on rent?

Or why since I moved in wtf I’ve done to offend this building so much. If I’m so complained about…why aren’t the cops at my door? Why aren’t any neighbors knocking?

Why are the neighbours clueless when I ask if this or this is a bother?

I live in fucking smoking building. I get complaints about smoke? No not since I installed the filter.

I’m the neighbor who gives the extra magazines at my neighbors door. Leaves tea, offers free behavioral research on their dogs.

I’m also the neighbor whom calls 311 when that fucking intercom system stops working!!

It’s a violation of code and they’d be fined. When I call it’s a building behalf complaint. And fixed the same day. I’m telling you.bull shit emails on verizon and wires. Same.day fixed. They’re lying.

Here’s the problem. I’m calling because I’m disabled. And tons of dumb people out there. I have missed contracts. Payments etc and there are days I cannot walk up and down even one flight

I submit my name, on behalf of the building , for reasons that to simplify are from the ADA American wth disability act. This isn’t asking for an accommodation. I’m telling them to follow code cuz I’m having trouble. And the rest of the building deserves to have this done.

Did you know they submit you as the complainer but give no reasons nor even why I called and that I did it on behalf of the building?

I told 311 they single handedly fucked me. Don’t you think my prop mgmt might just find mea nuisance?

Sigh.

Look I think this apt has bad juju. Like I said I’m happy to go. But come on.

BTW: BIG OFFER …..LOOKING FOR A CLIENT WHO OTHERWISE NORMALLY CANNOT AFFORD I’VE DONE THIS BEFORE. THE 18tH IS MY MOVING DAY.

IN EXCHANGE FOR PACKING , PLUS IF YOU CAN DRIVE!!!! AND OR HAVE A VEHICLE!!!

I will barter with you a grand prize. See post under Sept 18th!!!

Being casual and teaching smizing….model speak for smiling with your eyes. However I’m not smizing. I’m goofing off lol